I’ve often heard the expression that there’s no handbook given out to become a parent. Most of the human race has been raised by fragmented and wounded fellow humans. Rarely is it that any of us get raised by the iconic supermom or fully embodied divine mother who knows exactly how to tend to our needs, take care of us, and rear us in the most ideal situation.
One of the best expressions my mother always says is: “Everyone is doing the best that they can” given the circumstances and environments that have shaped them. Most of our primary caretakers were also not raised in the most ideal situation, and are using the tools they learned and cultivated through their experiences.
And that is absolutely true!
This is certainly not to excuse abusive behavior. This is about unshackling us from the challenges of our childhood, embracing our individual freedom, and rising up.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where we must reflect upon the understanding that we each have our own individual path and need to take responsibility for our own healing and personal growth beyond what our upbringing may have been.
Perhaps the circumstances in which we grew up were not ideal. It may be even worse than ideal. There may have been lack of stability, confusion, or perhaps abuse. It may take an entire lifetime to unwind and heal from. However, the healing must begin, and it begins with you.
Welcome to the school of life. We have been given a gift by even being born here and the ability to awaken and heal.
I’ve been reflecting upon mothering myself in the deepest way. What would have been the most ideal situation in my own childhood, and how would I have liked to have been mothered?
In my personal situation, my mom grew up in a house where there was abuse and multigenerational women against women.
She herself left as early as she could. She met my dad and fell deeply in love. My dad passed away at a super young age.
And there my mom, a young, young widow with two infants and heartbroken, did her absolute best to raise me and my sister taking us between Europe and New York, and then ultimately Los Angeles. There was lots of experience that definitely had an impact on me.
At a very young age, I began a lifelong journey of healing, transformation, and going deep. I love being on a healing journey! Everything in my life I have been through has helped me have more compassion, depth, and understanding. I love being able to show up with an open heart and be present for the unfolding journey of the human experience.
I have found that how I’ve been able to show up depends on how I am taking care of myself physically, mentally, and spiritually.
This is how I learned how to mother myself. It begins with daily meditation. I’ve had a meditation practice since 1994, and I have been devoted to daily meditation. It gives me a grounding and a stability.
I am also very diligent about how I eat. I mostly cook for myself.
I wake up in the morning and prepare breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner to have it ready for when I arrive home in the evening.
This morning act of self-love and nourishment supports equilibrium. If I’m not able to cook for myself in the morning, I make sure to get proper nutrition. For me, it is a plant-based diet.
Cooking for yourself with the care and detail you would prepare a meal for a loved one is mothering yourself in the most loving way.
In the mornings, I make myself oatmeal, chia porridge, quinoa, millet, or amaranth.
For lunch and dinner, I love eating vegetables, rice, mung beans, and soups. Eating seasonally I find to be very in tune with nature and connection to Mother Earth. I also make sure to exercise every day. Sometimes it’s a YouTube video or the pleasure of going to a Pilates class, yoga class, circuit training, or dance.
Moving my body is vital for my vitality and ability to stay balanced and inspired.
So much creative inspiration has come through during a class. My mind is quiet and there is an openness and flow that comes through during physical movement .
And finally, getting proper rest. For me, I wind down and turn off all Wi-Fi and devices in the evenings. I take a bath and get into bed.
I find getting into bed before 11 to be ideal for the most optimum sleep in my circadian rhythm. If I am wound up, I lay on the ground and do stretching before bed. Upon waking and before bed, I send Reiki through my whole body and out into the universe, wherever it needs to go .
Along with this, spending quality time with dear friends who are uplifting, inspiring, and supportive is the full circle of love.
I cannot express enough the importance of who we surround ourselves with. I am so grateful for my loving, amazing community of friends. I have been greatly blessed to have such a beautiful circle of love on this planet, and I am so incredibly grateful to each and every one of my soul family. This also extends to my clients. We have such a beautiful community that comes through the store. I truly have so much love for you all, and I am incredibly grateful for your support of the business. My shop is built as an act of love and service to the universe. It is so much bigger than me personally.
I pray for you to have an uplifting Mother’s Day, and remember that the ultimate mothering begins with you and how you love and take care of yourself every single day.
The mother that you have dreamed about has always been within you.
You are a magnificent being of love and light, and the beauty that is within you needs to be shared with the universe.
May we fill our cups so that we can fill this world with Infinite love and possibility.
Crystals for cultivating the mother within:
* It is suggested to wear these gems and crystals meditate with them and keep them in your space. Each of these are wonderful supports. Ultimately, I always invite you to trust your own intuition when it comes to choosing crystals. These are intuitive suggestions.