Healing from heartbreak is one of the most powerful lessons of our lifetime. When one has opened themselves up to vulnerability, love and connection, it can be profoundly painful when it doesn’t work out, or when a relationship ends. Coming back from the depths of this loss is a process of patience, self-care and deep listening.
Saying goodbye to any relationship is a grieving process. First and foremost, giving yourself the time to grieve and let go is so important. Part of this is understanding grief in general; it is a process. It is up and down - some days you’re euphoric, other days you’re not wanting to get out of bed. Honoring the movements of life in the process of letting go is part of it. You have shared deep intimacy with another human being and that human being is no longer part of your every day connection, where do we go from here?
Finding your way begins with creating new routines that are inspiring.
I like to begin with a writing down all the things that bring joy. When we’re deep in it it’s kind of hard to reflect upon what brings us joy but remember even when you were little what did you love? Did you love jumping on your bicycle and racing through the neighborhood? Or coloring? Maybe collecting stickers? Perhaps you were one of those kids like me that had pen pals from all over and enjoyed writing letters. What was something that brought joy?
Organizing your house can bring you joy. Or getting lost in a health food store. Truly there are so many things that get us outside of ourselves and bring us to the playful inner child. And that is where to begin. It’s really about feeding the joy, feeding the love and remembering you are the love. One of the most significant lessons came from my first heartbreak at 25. I remember crying to my therapist at the time, “How can I ever love again?” What he shared was so life-changing for me. He reminded me that the love I feel comes from within me. He said certain people reflect our love so powerfully to us but ultimately it comes from within.
Is our love just merely reflection? Remember you are the one that’s feeling it. That’s pretty incredible so ultimately this person outside of ourselves just reflects it back stronger to us and then we say we are in love with them. In reality we’re really just in love with ourselves and someone else’s ability to recognize that they to share a similar vibration.
A heartbreak helper:
I find that it’s very important who I choose to share my feelings with, especially if I’m going through a vulnerable time like a heart break. It’s important to be aware of who you’re sharing with. Remember everyone comes from their own perspective and their own experiences. Reminding yourself of this and what they share is really from their own path. Having a heartbreak helper a.k.a. a very close friend or trusted therapist that can remind you of your own divinity is of upmost importance going through this process.
Giving yourself time allowing yourself to feel all the feels and not judging yourself for however long it takes to move through. My best friend says this to me all the time “what you can feel you can heal.” Yes sometimes these feelings are extremely overwhelming. And yet how awesome you are able to feel them and move through them - you are alive!
You know how to love and you know how to love deeply. Please know this is a freaking gift. Allowing yourself to be messy and painful through this process is just as important as giving yourself loving care. Journaling and just letting all the feelings out is hugely important. Getting out into nature whether it be a walk by the ocean, sitting in a park, or getting your hands in the earth is such a powerful teacher. Same as how a tree grows and changes and loses her leaves and re-blooms again, so will you! On the other side of this time you will find wisdom strength power compassion and ability to be able to love others and walk them through the treacherous time of letting go and heartbreak. And remember you will rise again in a very strong and powerful way. More evolved with more wisdom more depth.
Here are some wonderful crystal allies to help you through this time:
Rose quartz - she truly teaches you how to love yourself. She is comforting and loving. Bring her to bed, take a bath with her or keep her close to your heart because she is a soother and will remind you of your beautiful heart.
Kuzite is the ultimate loving communicator. How we speak to ourselves and how we speak to others has a profound effect to help you move through this time and transmute your words. Use your beautiful, powerful heart to her greatest glory.
Pink and green tourmaline - heart love nourishment. Pink and green tourmaline is an awesome friend to remind you of what’s actually possible.
Keep moving forward and your heart will always heal!